so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize