So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
