I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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