my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
