I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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