the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
