I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
