If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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