Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
