that's an acceptable place to lick
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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