We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
