he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Acid is not a monday night drug
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
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