I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
