what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
