You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said