She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots