Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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