yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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