You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
