Ambien. No doubt about it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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