I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
