I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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