I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
