Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
