I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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