Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
