She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
