You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize