I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?