The maid of honor just puked.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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