The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
