I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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