I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
