the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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