went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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