His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
