I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
