How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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