Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
