We're facebook friends in real life
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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