I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
