I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Holy sore nipples Batman
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
