So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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