We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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