I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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