U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
