dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
