pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
