Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
