also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
