Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
