i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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