I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He? As in you personified your dick?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
