i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
