Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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