this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
