See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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